5 Truths from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

 

1423x593_showpg_CURIOUSlogo.jpg Gary and I saw The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time in New York two years ago. Now, this Tony awarding winning play is here in San Francisco. Go see it. You may see me in the audience. It’s worth seeing again. It’s that good.

During the first act, I shifted nervously in my seat. The play had scenes that were painfully familiar. The end of the first act was very disturbing for us. I’ll say no more so not to spoil it for you. At intermission, I looked at Gary. “Should we leave now?”We decided to stay. A lot can happen in the second act.

There were a lot of truths in the portrayal of Christopher, a teenage boy with autistic behaviors who tries to solve a murder mystery. Although my daughter, Ariela, did not have autism, we had a lot in common with the family in the play. Without giving too much away, here are just a few of the play’s insights.

  1. Teachers.One teacher can change a life. Christopher had one gifted teacher who encouraged his talents. Ariela had many teachers who misunderstood her, dismissed her or neglected her. In all of her years of school,  I can count on one hand the teachers who supported her, believed in her, and nourished her. They were the ones who wouldn’t stop until they could find a way for her to learn.
  2. Animals.Sometimes it’s easier to connect with a pet than with another person. Christopher had a pet mouse. Ariela connected with horses. Two therapeutic riding programs in our area wouldn’t take her. “She’s too medically fragile,” they said. But Joell Dunlap (another great teacher/trainer) at Square Peg Foundation accepted Ariela without condition. The horses came to know Ariela’s unique body. They gave her comfort, and she loved them for it.
  3. Fighting. Parents of children with disabilities have a lot to fight about. When there are no roadmaps, there are no right answers. Like Christopher’s parents, some of our biggest fights were about who did what and how much for our daughter. Those were hurtful battles. It took us years to begin to acknowledge that we both did the best we could do.
  4. Motivation.With great difficulty, Christopher navigated trains and subways. He desperately wanted to find his mother. Ariela had just started to use a new communication device, a complicated system that required patience and practice. She wanted to speak for herself, to be her own advocate. When her doctor told her she needed surgery, she used her communication device. “I’m afraid,” she said, looking up at the doctor. She wanted him to know that.
  5. Controls.We all have our own ways to control the overwhelming stimuli in our environment. Some meditate, some medicate, some move to the country. Ariela closed her eyes and put her head down. Christopher turned to mathematics. I believe the last time I studied the Pythagorean Theorem was in the ninth grade. In The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, I saw its beauty through Christopher’s eyes. If I had seen this play in the ninth grade, I might have become a mathematician.

There’s a lot more packed into this two-hour production, but I don’t want to spoil it for you. Go see it for yourself, and don’t leave at intermission. It gets better. After you’ve seen it, tell me what you think.

Not Always Happy

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Not Always Happy by Kari Wagner-Peck is not about raising a child with Down syndrome. It’s not about raising a child with a disability. It’s not about raising an adopted child. Not Always Happy is about doing whatever it takes to nurture a child and to help that child grow and flourish and thrive. All children should be so lucky to have Kari and Ward for parents. Hey, they can be my parents. Continue reading

Three pictures from El Paso-Juarez

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A week after returning from our Thanksgiving holiday in El Paso, and I continue to be grateful for family harmony. In three days under my brother’s roof, there were no arguments or disagreements about the recent election. We are all in accord about the frightening state our country is in now. We are bound together for reasons beyond shared DNA. We all hate bigotry. Everyone in this two generational picture voted for justice. Continue reading